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Author Topic: Father in law  (Read 266 times)

Beadbug

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Father in law
« on: September 24, 2017, 12:32:43 AM »
Well I had hoped to be getting on with some work after certain avoiding behaviours, eg., organising, prioritising, planning etc, we have to go back up North as father in law who is 94 has been in hospital for the last fortnight and is supposed coming out in a few days. Worried about him, and getting his care package sorted and hubby who is stressed about it. Should, hopefully be sorted in the next week. I need a holiday!

Carrie

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Re: Father in law
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2017, 07:02:02 PM »
Oh dear....we do love our elderly parents but it can be very wearing indeed sorting things out when they need more care.  Does your father-in-law still have "all his marbles"?  Might make finding the right care home harder.  I hope he'll be ok and once you manage to settle him somewhere you and your hubby will be able to relax a bit.  Good luck  :)

I'm thankful that my father stayed in his own home until a few days before he died in hosp.....it would have been impossible to find a care home he would have been happy with!

Beadbug

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Re: Father in law
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2017, 12:18:24 AM »
Events have overtaken us. My daughter has come down with a horrible cold and I just can't risk giving it to my parents who are both in their eighties and have health issues of a recent nature, and of course, father in law just coming out of hospital the last thing he needs is a horrible cold. We've been in touch with his neighbours and if he does come out when proposed, and it's a big if, they will keep an eye on him. It would be so much easier if we could convince him to go into a care home but he's having none of it. Still he seems quite chipper but his memory is an issue but they are talking about having a career going in twice a day to make sure he takes his medicine. Anyway we have to wait for at least another week.

ejralph

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Re: Father in law
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2017, 11:31:09 PM »
Oh I am sorry to hear this - how are things now?

We went through this a couple of years ago with my MIL - and there really does come a point when the carehome is best. And the funny thing is, we agonised and agonised about it, and she resisted and resisted until she really did see it was the only option .And once there, she bloody loved it!

When we were carers I used to get SO MAD about people playing fast and loose with their colds! The type that will greet you with a kiss or handshake and THEN tell you they have a streaming cold! Still makes me mad actually that people cannot think beyond themselves and not realise that a "mild cold" to them can be anything but to another and that their soldiering on going back to work/school etc too early really doesnt make them some kind of hero!

I hope you're able to get the care package worked out for him soon, best of luck with it

Emma
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Beadbug

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Re: Father in law
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2017, 07:47:58 PM »
Things are worse than I thought sadly. His memory is practically nonexistent, he forgets his meds,forgets what you said to him two minutes ago, is deaf but denies it and his sole focus in life is to get to his lady friends house. She is now in the early stages of dementia and her family is talking about her needing to be in sheltered accommodation ( she went to the local shop two minutes away and was gone for 5 hours, she has no idea where she went), when that happens I know that they will not tell FIL and they will not tell us, yes I think they are that selfish, to my mind that will finish them both. We've done what we can but I know we'll be going up there again soon, things can't continue the way they are.