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Author Topic: teaching the kids  (Read 2457 times)

Matt

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teaching the kids
« on: January 24, 2016, 12:13:32 AM »
I am trying to expand my daughters input/creativity/own design into art. Everything she does at the moment has to have my approval, I give guidance but leave her to do what she wants. I praise her for everything she creates, she's drawing at the mo and it seems every stroke needs an approval. I know reading from the forum that there are some great teachers here and would love advice on how to give her more confidence, I think without my input (unless how to) she could use her own imagination and come up with some creative things

Carrie

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2016, 03:14:35 PM »
How old is she, Matt?

MilleD

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2016, 04:44:35 PM »
Carrie, I think he said in the intro thread that she's 12 :)

Karolina.S

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2016, 05:48:07 PM »
One way could be to turn it around and to ask her how she feels about what she just did.  If she says she likes it then confirm to her that it is good and if she does not like it ask more questions about what she would like to change about it and praise her suggestions and tell her to try it out.

Don´t tell her what to do but instead guide her so she can find her own path.
Timrċ in the north of Sweden. Always with my polymer clay eyes open.
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ejralph

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2016, 11:02:56 PM »
Is she seeking approval as a way to ensure you stay interacting with her? If so, maybe some reassurance that your not going anywhere might help.

If it is a confidence thing I agree about turning it around and trying to teach her that her opinion matters most in her creations.

Emma
Emma from Sunny Sussex, UK
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Matt

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2016, 09:08:53 PM »
Sorry haven't replied earlier been a bit hectic. Carrie she is 12, Karolina. S she is proud of things she does when she I show family etc but when making them she looks at what I am making and gives up thinking its not as good, can't getit through that iit's better than I did then. Wish I still had stuff to show he, I now keep every new type of craft (even if it looks a mess as you can look back and realise your progress in real terms). Again yes Emma you are also correct on both, she ONLY wants to get involved when I am in full swing in my own projects, sometimes a comitited piece that I have to get done. So I have to leave my work set her up, and, well you know. It's the first time I've been able to look on here let alone make anything this week or am I being selfish.

ejralph

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2016, 09:53:29 AM »
I couldn't comment from a parent angle, as I am not one.

But I remember being a 12 year old girl so can certainly speak from that perspective. It can be hard to get parental attention - especially if you have a lot of siblings. I am guessing these crafting sessions are a good way for her to spend one-to-one time with her dad?

At 12, she isn't really going to get that you're busy or have committments to honour. I imagine she starts out wanting to spend that time with you, then as you guys are working she is probably getting into what you are actually doing and just feeling the frustrations of it not matching yours.

I've taught quite a few kids to clay over the years. They all have very different approaches. Some are laid back and don't really give a monkeys about what they end up making - they will generally overwork the piece and just go overboard, but are enjoying the process.

Other kids can be a bit more highly strung and are very hard on themselves - they are VERY focused on the end result and very self-critical. Now, sometimes I will admit when the parents came to pick them up I could see exactly how they got that way! Other times, it was nothing to do with that - the kids was just wired that way. You could often see in siblings there would be one of each personality type.

I found with the highly strung ones - who would at times get frustrated, tearful and all types of emotions inbetween - it helped that I would frequently get them to focus on what they found fun about it. Some of them were so focused on the result, they literally didn't get the question. It would be like:

Kid: I can't do this - it isn't going right
Me: Let me see - ok, it looks right to me
Kid: Yours  is so much better
Me: Well I've done this millions of times, you haven't. And if mine wasn't better, I wouldn't be able to offer you much as a teacher would I? You'd think your mum had spent money for you to spend the day with an idiot! So tell me, what bit of what we are doing today are you enjoying?
Kid: None of it, I cannot get it to look right
Me: No, forget how it looks - what bit of what we are doing feels fun? Do you like mixing the colours best today or rolling out the long snakes of clay? Which felt fun?

At this point, they always had an answer. There was always a bit they did enjoy and I could then say to them - "this is the point - its about enjoying what we are doing. If you enjoy it and do it alot, you will get better and better at it. And besides none of us EVER like our work! It just means you are a proper artist"


Now - I cannot tell you how often I had a variation of this conversation with the more anxious kids. You have to just divert their attention from the end result and focus them on the relaxation gained from doing the actual process. It is like the colouring books all around right now. People aren't doing them to make some great art to put on their wall, it is all about the relaxtion of the act of colouring in.

Emma
Emma from Sunny Sussex, UK
www.ejrbeads.co.uk Projects, articles, bead galleries & more
www.ejrbeads.co.uk/shop Art beads, clay & jewellery supplies

Matt

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2016, 01:45:15 AM »
OMG, have you been spying on me.That transcript is my conversation with her. I do all my art to relax and zone out. She see's it as a challenge. I (have been staring at this for ages) do not know how to reply. You've hit the nailed it on the head. Now I feel lacking in the time you took to write this. Thank you much Emma.

Carrie

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2016, 03:48:16 PM »
You're very wise, Emma  :)


ejralph

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2016, 10:46:47 AM »
lol - no thanks necessary.

Doing craft really brings out a person's personality type, be they adult or child. Teaching people really brings that into sharp focus. Teaching kids even more so.

I found it fascinating when teaching rooms of kids how different they all were. Some would be so het up and tense about it, others so chilled out.

The chilled out ones are easy - it is the more tightly wound kids that are harder. They need the relaxation the most but won't allow themselves to relax.

I guess you girl has to got to learn who she herself is in life, like we all do - and its your job to help her.  Learning that ambition and drive is a brilliant thing - so long as you keep it fluid enough that it doesn't ricochet back at you hard when you hit the occasional wall in life.

But you can do no more than you - keep spending time with her and encourage her to relax and enjoy the journey as much as the destination. You sound like a great dad and she sounds like a great kid who is probably very intelligent and over-thinky

Emma

Emma from Sunny Sussex, UK
www.ejrbeads.co.uk Projects, articles, bead galleries & more
www.ejrbeads.co.uk/shop Art beads, clay & jewellery supplies

Matt

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Re: teaching the kids
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2016, 11:50:33 PM »
Persistence is paying off. The sister in-law wanted me to design a logo, before I could answer court said she'd do it
 Taken everyone's advice and it is so much appreciated. I think the kids need an outlet to express there feelings and take time out.