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Author Topic: Been absent for a while.  (Read 2930 times)

MilleD

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Been absent for a while.
« on: July 24, 2016, 01:56:06 PM »
Hi guys.

I've been absent for a while.  My Mom succumbed to her lung cancer and we buried her last week.  Been up and down to Middlesbrough so not really had time to come on here.

But as I have spent a few days with my step dad who admitted that without me and my sister he may have done himself in, I took some finished clay pieces and finally managed to make some bracelets.

So I just wanted to say hello, I'm back and will try to get some photos of my finished bits up soon.

Hope everyone is ok x

Karolina.S

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2016, 07:53:56 PM »
I´m sorry about your mom but glad you are back.
Timrċ in the north of Sweden. Always with my polymer clay eyes open.
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MilleD

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2016, 07:55:00 PM »
Thanks Karolina x

Alan

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2016, 08:52:50 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear of your sad news, Claire.  :'(  Missed you, but I'm glad you're back and making jewellery again.  I hope you are OK. :)
Alan from wet and windy, but deceptively mild Cumbria, UK.
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MilleD

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2016, 08:09:58 AM »
Yes, I'm ok thanks Alan.

I just need to figure out a way to get rid of the fur from 4 cats and I'll be able to clay again, rather than just doing stuff with the finished components.  Although that's probably needed :)

ejralph

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2016, 11:40:15 AM »
I'm so sorry about your mum Claire

What a terrible loss for you all and it must have been incredibly draining for you and your sister trying to deal with everything yourself and help your step-dad through it all.

It is wonderful to have you back though - and I hope you can get some rest and recouperation time for yourself now and enjoy some relaxing claying

Emma
Emma from Sunny Sussex, UK
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MilleD

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2016, 08:07:08 AM »
Thanks Emma :)

Carrie

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2016, 06:14:53 PM »
So sorry to read that Claire.  It must have been especially hard as you don't live nearby.  Thank goodness you helped to get your stepfather through his grief - however much we are prepared for a death it still hits us very hard when it happens. 

My 96 yr old widowed father died recently so we've been getting his house ready for sale...what a terrible job it's been as it was crammed with a lifetime's detritus...luckily we live only 20 mins away.  At last we see light at the end of the tunnel and will get our lives back again soon....

MilleD

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2016, 11:12:52 AM »
Thanks Carrie, sorry to hear about your father.

It really puts into focus why we keep things I think.  I have old cards and things like that up the loft that I never look at and they will end up being someone else's problem when I die.

Not sure who's as I've never been able to have children, probably one of my step sisters who are younger than me hopefully.

A years worth of 'keepsakes' I suppose just become junk to someone else.  I'm dreading my step dad dying as their house is filled to the gunnels with things.  I don't know if he is going to sort my Mom's stuff at any point.  She played the keyboard and has 3 huge things in the house as well as a proper organ.  If he got rid of those there would be twice the room that there is now.

And yes, the distance is an issue.  It's draining just getting there.

On a brighter note, I've just ordered some of those sumptuous new  Cernit colours from Emma and have someone coming round to quote for blinds in the conservatory so I can use it as a craft room.  I haven't told the other half yet :)

Carrie

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2016, 06:20:32 PM »
I like that you've rewarded yourself with those lovely Cernit colours and a conservatory - my other half has today bought a brand new car as a reward for all the house clearing work  ;D

ejralph

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2016, 07:26:58 PM »
I'm so sorry for your loss too Carrie

Cleaning through someone's stuff when they die is so difficult. Mr Man really couldn't face it with his mum's stuff (it was overwhelming because the sheer amount, due to her being a full-on hoarder, as well as just the emotional side for him) so I spent weeks doing it, literally 9 to 5 each day.

I'd like to think with loved, positive, happy people though - at least their possessions and little keep-sakes will bring to mind happier times, a bitter-sweet process but ultimately quite positive.

Or maybe I am romantasising that part of the grieving process as I felt Mr Man sort of "missed out" on what is a sort of necessary but cathartic step.

With us, of course, I ended up being quite glad I was doing it alone because all the nasty writing and weird magic spells etc she was doing etc wouldn't have been nice for him to see.

The process really made me re-think my own attitude towards possessions though. What with that and then moving after, I got rid of so, so much stuff  - sentimental posessions like cards, photos etc are down to one managable sized box in the attic.

Because late MIL kept literally EVERY card she had ever been sent from her 17 (!) siblings - and I had to bin each and everyone of them, I'd gladly never receive another card in my life. In fact I actually always ask my family to get me a lotto lucky dip instead of a card ever. Cheaper than a card and at least might win me the jackpot!

Claire - glad to hear you've treated yourself a bit with your new conservatory studio. It sounds to me like you've earned a little relaxing creative time. I did the same when we moved in here - sort of commandeered the conservatory. It is lovely to work, looking out over the garden

Emma

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Carrie

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2016, 06:20:43 PM »
Thank you, Emma....my father was a hoarder, and a compulsive buyer of rubbish on shopping channels, never buying one of anything - boxes of stuff, much unopened.   We have fed the local hospice shop though, and the house clearers sent a lot of furniture and so on to auction and we got a surprising amount back! 

We did have to go through with a fine toothcomb though.  We found letters to my mother from her mother who died well before l was born, a photo of my aunt's first baby who died, details of my paternal grandmother's, her sisters' and her father's burials...none of which l knew existed, along with other photos tucked away in strange places.

Finally had the house cleaned today and l hope never to see it again  ;D  Fingers crossed for a buyer who wants a priject  ::)

ejralph

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2016, 06:48:26 PM »
Sounds very similar to our situation - it is exhausting isnt it.

We too managed to supply the local charity place with a lot of stuff, but really most stuff was only fit for the dump.

And just like you - I had to be so thorough because all the important stuff was mixed in with the trivial. The bizarre places I found important stuff like birth and marriage certs etc. I think we also found about 250 in ten pound notes squirrelled around the place!

It was like doing archaeology. I learned a lot about my MIL doing it. Firstly that she had a pure and malevolent hatred of me, the level of which I have never encountered, secondly that she was quite mad and had been for a long, long while - way before the husband's accident, in fact way before her marriage I think. I also learned just what an incredible artist she had always been - sheer natural talent. I don't just mean she did a few nice sketches, she was seriously full on up there with the best of them. Such a tragedy she couldn't have gone to art school really or studied fashion or something - some of her doodlings of dresses and fashion ideas she was doing back in the 50s were absolutely ahead of their time. Made me wonder if there is anythign in this whole "mad artist" cliche really.

I wish you good luck with the sale - whatever you do, find a good solicitor and don't go with the ones the estate agent recommends. We learned that painful lesson to our cost. Especially if you might be selling to a developer rather than a regular buyer.

Emma
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Carrie

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Re: Been absent for a while.
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2016, 08:06:41 PM »
Thanks  :)